I will Write

that’s how it felt… being able to let out loud your deepest feelings…

yep, it’s the first time again… i was tongued tied but i have to answer a question…
why?

MKMNMKM!

not only letting it out but knowing it’s result… weeeeeeee will i ever regret saying it? if that’s the least thing that i can do, i will still not…

i was singing again… i have been singing again… what do i feel now? fine, plain fine as always… hoping that things will be better from this day forward…

i still thank you… yes you…
the blame is all mine…

stoopeed mee

life is NOT fair…

i agree, i first asked this because i think life really is unfair… but hey check this reasons:

if life is fair, there is no room for perseverance and motivation
the willingness to work
the willingness to feel pain
the feeling on holding on
the feeling of moving on
all experiences based in life will be lost if life is fair
lahat tayo pantay pantay

BORING!

no room for improvement

i cannot disagree and i almost accepted the fact that life really needs to be not fair… i don’t need an argument… i needed someone’s opinion about life… someone whom i think knows more about life than i do… i slept in peace… accepting that life really is fair…

ending the conversation, my comrade said it is all up to me… to either end this life or just live this life… duh? i will not commit suicide… though i already have enough reason too… i don’t wanna argue with my comrade… i told myself i only needed opinion… and well, he made life being not fair as an advantage…

well what do i say about life? i started this mess… really… i dunno if it’s already a mess but i know i am messing up… about life and in general… i slept asking Him to be my guide… see, giving up isn’t really bad if you give it all up to Him… lol… have i given up everything to Him? no… should i be writing this blog if i did? i should just accept the fact… deym…

P.S.

ask people whom you think have great principles in life…

Plan A. Live with my other half and work.

Plan B. Live and work for myself and my family.

Plan C. Catch a Big Fish.

i am now 22 turning 23 next month…

well, though i am still single, i still see myself as a mother… in the future that is, not yet now…

i wanted my children to be as responsible as i do… i may not be the perfect mother for them but that is all i want them to be when they will soon grow up…

now, i ain’t the perfect daughter… i lose my patience as well… patience towards my parents… but still i am doing everything for them… my plans are for them… not for me… yes, i wanted my children to be like me… not really me but them to have this right behavior…

um um um… this isn’t a serious post… i was sleeping and in my dream was a child who was mad at me… he is not my son but he was mad at me… he almost hurt me… my children may get mad at me but hopefully they wouldn’t hurt me the way that the lil boy did in my dreams… no matter how awful your life has been being the child of your parents you still do not have the right to hurt them…

my being a child along with my brother (elder) is not really one of the best experience… but still, now that we are grown up we still are taking the responsibility of helping out our parents…

i dunno how we (along with my elder brother) ended this way even if we had experienced the worst from our parents… nway so much to that… i love my nanang and tatang… i will always be there for them no matter what… they may not know but every step that i have taken is for them… disregarding my flaws of course… i love my elder brother too though we barely talk… i also love our youngest brother though he is “pasaway”…

i want my children to love me and their dada… and i want them to love each other as well… yeah they are my children, loving, responsible, respectful, caring and happy… and i will certainly love them back…

hemorrhage - > bleeding inside… who is bleeding inside? not me! lol… nway got this song from stephenie meyer’s playlist for midnight sun… it is a sequel for twilight, only Edward is the one telling the story… well it isn’t finished yet but i enjoyed the playlist… i like Notice too by Gomez and there are other songs that i like as well… well well well this is my second blog about twilight… hehe the other is private… just wanted it to be private… lol… nway and yeah i still love edward cullen… lol… funny it is huh? my life is revolving in his story… i don’t wanna wake up… i don’t want this to be over… i feel better and i guess i feel that there is still hope on anything… lol… funny… nothing to do again… just sharing about hemorrhage…
bleeding inside, huh? better die now. yeah, better die now…